The Day That Changed My Life

I had only been home a few weeks from a training camp with a professional soccer team. I was wrestling with myself internally about whether to continue my career. And God answered the question for me REAL QUICK. 

That morning I was getting a quick, light lift in before my training sessions began. I was using the 35 lb bar (I think) with no added weight and was overhead pressing it to get warmed up. Rep number 2 I felt a pop. I HEARD a pop. My shoulders and neck instantly froze. I dropped the bar in front of me and jumped back so it wouldn’t fall on my head. I couldn’t really control where the bar went. I sat down and began to take my shoes off because I didn’t want anyone to know I was hurting. I was trying to play it cool but it hurt lore than anything I had ever felt before. I was fighting back tears. I was in so much pain. But the scariest part was I had no idea what was wrong. I never once thought “wow I think I just broke my neck”. I casually told chris to bring me Advil so I could get my sessions started. My friend joked that I couldn’t move my neck because he didn’t think it was serious. I ended up driving myself to the local chiropractor. 

After an x Ray, he said SIT DOWN AND DONT MOVE UNTIL I TELL YOU. 

Uh oh. It must be bad then. 

That’s when he showed me the x Ray. I thought “oh crap. Is that what I think it is?” My C7 was in half. Like literally there was a huge gap between the half that broke off and the half still attached.
I did what every child should NEVER DO. I TEXTED my mom and said "I broke my neck, but I'm ok" TORI WHAT THE HECK! My mom was in tears and got up to the doctors office as quick as she could. Gah Tori why did you do that... So dumb!

After being rushed to Dallas to see a spinal specialist, the doctor said how lucky I was to break what I did. I didn’t need surgery or a brace. Hallelujah! 

But that didn’t mean I was off the hook.
I couldn’t lay down, sit down, stand up, or walk without feeling the most excruciating pain.
I slept in a recliner that Chris brought from his parents house to my parents house for months.
I physically could not lay down it was so painful. And I’m not a wimp. 

So you know I got zero sleep for those few months. 

I had zero mobility in my neck and shoulders. (Obviously) So I couldn’t look side to side or up and down. And if I moved my shoulders just the slightest twitch, pain shot through my neck and I would freeze every time. Sometimes I couldn't use my arms without feeling the pain in my neck.

If I needed to walk to the bathroom, I cried the whole way there, during, and back because it hurt so bad.

Every day when Chris got off work, he would come visit me. Mind you we were only dating at the time. He would stay late to make sure I was ok. (Mentally too)

I was stubborn. I wanted to get back to normal life within 2 weeks. I was mad. “Why did this happen to me?”

But he was patient. He calmed me and reassured me that everything was going to be ok. 

He even lectured me when I needed it. Which I needed it often because I was so ridiculous in trying to think I could get back to workouts within weeks. 

I didn’t make it easy for him. But he was steadfast. 

He’s the reason why I didn’t lose my sanity throughout the process. 

It took months to heal before I could go out for a walk up and down the street. And even longer before I could jog. 

The road felt so long sometimes that I wasn’t sure I would ever run again. (Much less run marathons. I thought that dream went out the window)

I couldn’t lift a weight in probably almost a year (it’s been so long I forget exactly) 

I still, to this day and forever, can’t lift overhead or heavy (I’m talking like anything over 30 lbs) and can’t look back without moving my shoulders with my neck. 

But all small sacrifices given the big picture. 

It was a difficult time. For chris and for me. He could’ve left many times. But he didn’t. Looking back, I don’t know why he didn’t. I was so narrow minded and crazy.  It wasnt until years later that I found gratitude for what DIDNT happen. 

But that’s what I’ve always loved about him. He has always tseen the bigger picture. In everything. 

And He has always seen the best in me even when it was deep deep deep like way deep down in my soul. 
I still went back and forth on a lighter degree about continuing to seek my professional soccer career, but the risk was too high. The doctor said I could try if I REALLY wanted to, but I could risk paralysis if I got hit too hard or at a weird angle or headed the ball. As a defender, I headed the ball quite often in college. We quickly decided that career was a no go. Not worth the risk!


But this is why I choose to run. Why I choose marathons, running when I don’t want to, running when it’s early or late, running when it’s hot or cold or raining. Because so many others who have spinal injuries can’t. Can’t even walk. And who am I to complain about running in a type of weather or time of day or type of distance? I’m a lucky one. I was spared a different outcome. I’m forever indebted. So I CHOOSE to run. 

Isaiah 40:31

For those who hope in the lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will RUN and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint. 

Proud to be a 2x marathoner (and counting!)